(Math) Exercise, Dividers of Theoden

(We’re taking a calculus final. The TA is a well-known Lord of the Rings fan, and we’ve had running LotR jokes all semester.)

(Everyone starts laughing.)

(Everyone groans.)

(The professor enters with a stack of exams. With him are two exam proctors.)

(The professor starts handing stacks of exams to the TA and proctors.)

(The professor pulls out a pencil, holding it out like a sword, and runs down the first row holding it out. Students hold up their pencils, hitting his as he passes.)

(The entire class rises to their feet and gives him a standing ovation. A week later, we get an email from the professor.)

**TA:**“Okay, guys, everyone look at me. We’ve been over the rules, but just in case: no notes, pencil your answers in on the scantron sheet, and graphing calculators only – no more ‘can I just used my cell phone’ nonsense.”**Student:**“[TA's name], my calculator batteries just died! What should I do?”**TA:**“Here, I’ve got a big box of spares.”**Student:***struggling* “I can’t get this packaging open…”**Student 2:**“Here, I’ve got a pocket knife.”**TA:**“And I’ve got a pair of scissors if you need them.”**Student 3:***from the back of the room* “OR MY AXE!”(Everyone starts laughing.)

**TA:**“The only axes allowed on the exam are in the graph section.”(Everyone groans.)

**TA:**“Oh, come on, you’re in a math class. Deal with the math jokes.”(The professor enters with a stack of exams. With him are two exam proctors.)

**Professor:**“Tolkien jokes already, [TA's name]?”**TA:**“Hey, I didn’t start it.”(The professor starts handing stacks of exams to the TA and proctors.)

**Professor:**“But I’m about to finish it. [TA], take these exams down the left flank. [Proctor 1], follow the desks down the center. [Proctor 2], take your exams right, along the wall.”**(At this point, many of the students have realized where this is going:**Theoden’s lines from ‘Return of the King.’)**Professor:**“Forth, and fear no problems! Solve! Solve, students of calculus! Points shall be taken, scores shall be splintered! A pencil day! A red-ink day! Until three thirty!”(The professor pulls out a pencil, holding it out like a sword, and runs down the first row holding it out. Students hold up their pencils, hitting his as he passes.)

**Professor:**“Solve now! Solve now! Solve to good grades and the class ending! MAAATH!”**Entire Class:**“MAAATH!”**Professor:**“MAAAAATH!”**Entire Class:**“MAAAAAATH!”**Professor:**“Forth, exam-takers!”(The entire class rises to their feet and gives him a standing ovation. A week later, we get an email from the professor.)

**Professor:***at the end of the email* “PS: I appreciate all of you who wrote in their evaluations that I was the one professor to rule them all, but the best one yet was the student who called me ‘Mathrandir.’”- swagginbaggins likes this
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